


so we can get to know you

by lucathia



Category: The Legend of the Sun Knight
Genre: Gen, Memories, Missions Gone Wrong, Post-Canon, deaging, spoilers for v8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-01
Updated: 2014-08-15
Packaged: 2018-02-11 06:40:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2057787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucathia/pseuds/lucathia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Twelve Holy Knights go on their biannual mission outside of Leaf Bud City. They just never thought that some of them would return as toddlers. Roland introduces himself over and over again. </p><p>"Isn't this great, Roland? We'll get to learn about you and make up for all those years we missed!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. R.un little knights

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kiyutsuna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiyutsuna/gifts).



Far away from Leaf Bud City, the twelve of us got ready for battle from within the depths of a seemingly never-ending land of darkness. Dark element had overtaken this once colorful forest rumored to be home to pixies. The dark element swirled around us, eager to be spent. I straightened and let my disguise fall away, wings unfurling behind me, skin growing ashen. Sun likewise removed the Eternal Tranquility, handing it to Judgment, and let his hair bleed into black. The ten others took several steps back, giving us our space but not departing so far that they would not be able to rush in to attempt to subdue us. 

Hand on my sword, I exchanged a glance with Grisia, his dark pools of black challenging me. A smirk played at his lips. He taunted me, beckoning me with a curl of his index finger.

Then, the two of us flew into battle, as we each summoned the dark element to complement our every attack. Ever since my death, I had stopped feeling the thrum of adrenaline, of blood pumping through my body, burning with intensity, but this might be something close to it. The dark element whirled through me, filling me with power. I could easily be drunk off of it, but I wouldn't let myself. Never again. 

By the sound of Grisia's maniacal laughter, it was possible that he was getting close to losing himself. He was absorbing much more of the dark element than I was. I had not lost myself to the point of being unable to notice the grim looks of those watching us in trepidation. 

_Focus, Roland,_ I told myself. _Focus on your duty._

I unleashed the dark element over and over. Grisia smirked and levitated himself into the air, high above the swaying tree tops. He held his hands out, dark element curling around him.

"Don't let him out of your sight!" Storm called out to me.

I nodded and pumped my wings, flying straight up to where Grisia was, wind rushing past my face. I would not permit myself to be lost in the intensity of the battle, swallowed by the dark element, but that didn't mean I couldn't enjoy a good fight, of having a reason to continue existing.

In midair, we continued our battle. 

After a lengthy period of time, Grisia suddenly laughed under the dark sky blackened by the dark element, wide grin stretching across his face. "How about this?" Nearly all of the dark element from the forest seemed to gather around Grisia as he spoke. For a second, I caught a glimpse of what the forest must have looked like in the past, vibrant and youthful.

_Alive._

Not marred by darkness.

"Sun-"

Before I could stop him, he blasted the dark element at me. I swung my blade at it with no intention of dodging. The onslaught of dark element parted, hitting the trees below.

An explosion followed. 

Dust burst forth.

Even Grisia and I became covered in dust despite being so high up. Without a second thought, I immediately flew downward to check if everyone was okay, the dust trickling away into the air as the wind cleansed me. However, before I even reached the others, Grisia tossed a gigantic dark blade at my back, catching me unaware. It sliced me across my wings. 

Pain flaring, I tumbled downward, branches whipping across my face. 

"What..."

I twisted to look back at Grisia. The proximity of the others should have kept Grisia in check, enough for him to retain his sense of self. _Has the seal worn off?_

"Hell!" came a cry from below. 

I untangled myself from the branches and dropped the rest of the distance to the ground. There, amidst the foliage, were the rest of the Twelve Holy Knights. 

At least, that was who was supposed to be there. It was just that Blaze was now a baby, and Ice, Metal, and Leaf were also much shorter than before. All of their clothes were nearly falling off. The three of them stared at me in alarm.

Although I wanted to ask what had happened, I instead said, "Sun has lost control."

Frowning, Judgment lifted baby Blaze from his bundle of clothes and stared at his unblemished chest. Blaze giggled and kicked at Judgment. 

Immediately, young Metal shouted out at Judgment, "What do you think you're doing!" 

Both Ice and Leaf seemed like they were thinking the same thing, their faces even more alarmed than when they had seen me.

"Their tattoos are likely all gone," Judgment concluded.

No wonder Grisia had lost control. Without all of us as his fetters, it was impossible to keep him in check. 

"Go use the teleportation circle and head to safety," I suggested. "I'll hold him back."

Judgment nodded grimly as he handed the Eternal Tranquility to me. Cloud had appeared out of nowhere to hold mini Blaze in his arms, wrapping him in his fallen clothes, and now Blaze was pulling on Cloud's bangs with his chubby hands and climbing all over him. Likely if Leaf had not shrunk, he would be the one holding Blaze instead. Stone steered a confused Ice in the right direction, Moon grabbed Metal's hand despite the latter's protests, and Storm urged Leaf along.

_Have their memories reverted back to that age too? If so, then my appearance must really frighten them._

I did not have the leisure to ponder for long. Grisia flew down, the dark element suddenly increasing behind me. I turned and stretched my three pairs of wings out, ignoring the searing pain, trying to buy the others time to escape. I flew forward and attacked, but Grisia dodged and laughed instead. 

"What have we here?" Grisia said in a mocking tone. "Since when has Metal been that short? Pft, look at him stumble!"

I readied my blade. Berating Grisia when he was in this state would be useless. All I could do was prevent him from doing anything he would regret. "That's nothing to concern yourself with at the moment. Come, fight me."

I almost lost my focus when Grisia blasted dark element down at the others. I quickly closed in on Grisia, forcing his attack off their path.

"Fight me!" I growled. 

"I don't want to!" Grisia complained. "You're so boring!"

I swung my blade at him in a flurry of attacks, leaving Grisia no time to keep speaking. In such a way, I kept him on his toes, his attention drawn away from the retreating Twelve Holy Knights. Once I saw the flare of light indicating that the teleportation circle had been activated, I finally relaxed.

Even when Grisia's next attack hit me, I was no longer as worried. Slowly, I closed in on him again, not caring even when my skin ripped from his attacks. Then, I teleported the rest of the distance in a flash and grabbed him.

"What do you think you're-" 

The scenery around us changed, dissolving into a courtyard of the Holy Temple.

"...doing."

With Grisia back in Leaf Bud City, his powers could be sealed once more without the need of all Twelve Holy Knights being present. I quickly circled the chain of the Eternal Tranquility around his neck.

I looked towards the Holy Temple.

_But what exactly happened with Blaze and the others?_


	2. O.nly if we knew what was going on

On the way to the conference room, Sun fretted over my injuries and apologized over and over, but once we reached our destination, he immediately fell silent. 

The reason he had fallen silent was likely the same reason why I was staring. What I'd seen in the forest wasn't a figment of my imagination. Blaze had indeed turned into a baby.

Earlier, he had been pulling on Cloud's bangs, but perhaps he'd grown tired of doing so. Now, he had his thumb stuck in his own mouth. Cloud, for once, had not disappeared, perhaps because Blaze had a firm grasp of Cloud's shirt with the hand that was not in his mouth. 

When Sun and I walked in, Cloud raised his head helplessly, as if asking for aid. 

"What in the world happened to them?" Sun exclaimed. "Blaze is a midget! Metal, Ice, and Leaf have become super short too!"

"Do you know who we are?" Judgment asked the four of them. Blaze had been wrapped with cloth while the other three still remained in their overly large clothes.

Blaze merely continued to suck on his thumb and did not look like he would be able to tell us much. Not unless "dada" was an answer. 

Metal blurted, "Child molester!" 

Moon quickly tried to reassure him. "No, no, you have the wrong idea. We're definitely not child molesters-"

"But you held my hand!" Metal shot out.

Moon's mouth dropped. "I was only trying to make sure you wouldn't get lost, Metal!"

"Who the heck is Metal?!" was Metal's reply. He had his face scrunched up in confusion.

Those of us who were not shrunk all shared a glance.

Ice kept glancing up but would quickly glue his eyes back on his hands whenever he caught sight of us looking at him. Leaf was the only one who nodded, his bangs falling forward as he did so. Even his headband was a bit too loose.

"You know us?" Judgment questioned Leaf.

Leaf nodded again and timidly said, "You're...Lesus, I think? But you look a lot older..." He glanced at the rest of us, hesitantly guessing at each of our names. "Uh... and you're Georgo? You're Ceo...? And um you're Vival. And you're Aivis. You're Grisia? Who is Demos holding? Is that Chikus? What happened to him? Ecilan and Laica look closer to how I remember them... But younger..."

When he came to me, his brows creased as he said, "I don't...know you, do I?"

"I'm Roland Hell," I introduced myself. I'd disguised myself once more, my wings hidden away, features human-like. A mask covered my lower face, and I was back to wearing a leotard much like the Dragon's Saint Brigandine. Even my injuries were hidden away. They really weren't anything for Sun to fret over. Even now, I had an abundance of dark element thanks to the land of darkness. My injuries would mend easily enough.

"Hell? Oh, you're Hell? I've always wondered who the Hell Knight-in-training was! Nice to meet you. I'm Elmairy." He smiled brightly at me, never once second-guessing my identity.

I smiled in return, but since he would not be able to see it, I gave him a nod as well. I was not the same Hell who had been chosen along with him, but if I had been, I would have known Leaf at this age. He was just like the man I would come to know, kind and accepting.

If Leaf's memories had reverted back to the same age as his physical appearance indicated, then it was not strange that he did not know me nor of the situation that had led me here. But since he knew everyone else, that meant he had already been selected as the young Leaf Knight and had met everyone at his current age. 

"How much do you remember, Leaf?" Judgment asked. 

"Leaf, you call me Leaf?" he exclaimed, face lighting up. "Does this mean I successfully become the Leaf Knight?"

Judgment smiled and nodded. "Yes, you do."

At his smile, Leaf froze. He spoke in a small voice. "I... I didn't know you could smile like that."

Sun opened his mouth to speak. "No need to be so scared of him, Leaf. You'll learn that Judgment's actually a softie soon enough."

Judgment warned, "Sun..."

"Really?" Leaf's eyes widened. Then, his smile returned. "The future sounds really nice. I'm so happy to see all of us successfully becoming the Twelve Holy Knights! Even though I don't understand what's going on right now..."

Sun chuckled. It always amazed me how he could still be so bright and accepting despite the hand he had been dealt in life. 

_Leaf, your future self has died once before. The very person who resurrected you is right before your eyes, and has lost his eyesight to bring you back. But he will never tell you that._

Instead, Sun said, "The future really isn't bad at all! Strawberry, you even have a girlfriend!"

"Ehhhhhh??" Leaf blushed bright red.

It turned out that Leaf was currently fourteen years old. He had already been the Leaf Knight-in-training for a few years but remembered nothing past the age of fourteen. At least he knew most of us, so he was easier to deal with and explain things to than Ice and Metal. As for Blaze, at his current age, no amount of explaining would do any good. He'd pulled on Cloud's shirt in some kind of demand, and now Cloud was stiffly raising and lowering Blaze, who giggled each time Cloud did so.

Ice quietly said while fidgeting, "Um, why am I here? My dad will be worried if I don't return home soon." He fidgeted some more and nibbled on his lips. "I'm supposed to be delivering bread..."

Moon knelt down so he would be on eye level with Ice. "I can't believe it! Look at how cute he is!" He reached a hand out to ruffle Ice's soft, pale hair.

"Seriously," Stone agreed. "No wonder former Knight-Captain Ice kidnapped him."

Ice had been blushing from all the scrutiny, sending Moon cooing, but at Stone's words, his head shot up in alarm.

Metal narrowed his eyes at us, especially at Judgment, Moon, and Stone. "Are you _sure_ you're not kidnappers and child molesters? I bet you guys made us wear these baggy clothes!"

He shook his hand at us, his shirt slipping off one shoulder. He hastily shoved it back on. "And you!" He pointed at me. "Who goes parading around in skin-tight clothes like that? You're practically naked!"

I had never been overly conscious of what I wore, but being told such a thing by a young child nearly made me want to summon my wings and wrap myself in them.

Sun often said that Metal didn't know how to be poisonous at all, but he sounded fairly poisonous to me here. Even Judgment had a helpless expression on his face. 

Meanwhile, Sun had on a look of amazement. "To think Judgment's number one fanboy would think Judgment to be a child molester and kidnapper!"

"Wait," I said, mind no longer stuck on the clothes I was wearing. "Are they... growing?"

Before us, the four of them were slowly growing taller. The change was the easiest to tell in Blaze, who was shooting up right before our eyes. Cloud hastily tried to drop Blaze onto the ground, but Blaze wouldn't let go of Cloud's shirt. Finally, he had grown so tall that he was the one holding Cloud instead of the other way around. The cloth we had used to bundle him wasn't doing much good anymore.

Leaf blinked and looked at his hands, holding them up to examine them. "Wow, that was a strange experience." 

Blaze yelled, "Why am I naked?!" He hastily let go of Cloud. "Sorry Cloud!"

Cloud shook his head, his cheeks bright red, and then abruptly disappeared. I thought I saw part of a sleeve vanish underneath the table.

Metal sobbed, "Captain Judgment, I'm so sorry!"

Ice murmured, "Oh, so I don't have bread to deliver..." He reached up to touch his hair. Moon quickly hid his hands behind his back. 

We all breathed a sigh of relief and thought the ordeal to be over now that they had returned to their original ages. 

We were wrong.


	3. L.o there, i'm roland hell. why hello, i'm roland hell. hello...

It happened again, this time right before my eyes, two days after our return from the forest. We had not managed to accomplish our mission, but we would not be able to head back until we figured out what had caused four of the Twelve Holy Knights to shrink and whether or not it would happen again.

Sun and Judgment had gone off to discuss the matter with the Pope. Meanwhile, I straightened the papers in my hands and knocked on Storm's door. 

"Storm, I've finished correcting the documents," I said after Storm's door opened and a head of blue peeked out.

"Oh, thanks!" Storm replied with a wide smile. His eye bags were getting worse again after our return, no doubt because of all the piled up work from our absence. Just as I was about to hand the papers over to Storm, he began... shrinking.

I watched with wide eyes as he grew shorter and shorter. For a fleeting second, I wondered if he would shrink so much that I would actually learn his true hair color. He'd once told me that he didn't really remember what his original hair color was, only that it was indistinct. I'd told him that it probably wasn't as indistinct as he thought. How could anything about Storm be indistinct? He was one of the liveliest people I knew, always attracting the attention of those around him. 

He stopped shrinking once he shrank to the level of my chest, his hair as blue as ever but much much shorter. I was a little disappointed not to discover his original hair color, but then green eyes blinked and stared curiously up at me, and I forgot all about his hair color.

This was Storm before he even knew of my existence.

"Hello," I greeted softly, lowering my mask, not wanting to startle him. From Metal's previous reaction, I could deduce that children would only think me weird the way I dressed. Showing my face would hopefully lessen that effect a bit. "I'm Roland Hell."

"Knight-Captain Hell?" Storm asked. He looked me up and down quite shyly. "Are you back from your mission? Teacher said you're on a very very long mission."

_How am I to explain that I'm not the 37th Hell Knight but rather Storm's Hell Knight?_

I fixed my mask back in place and pondered my dilemma.

I never thought I would ever get to see Storm and the others as children. I had not grown up alongside them and had only met them once we were all adults. Sun was the only one who I had spent any time with as a child, but even then, it had not been a lengthy period of time. 

So this was what Storm had been like as a child. I watched him pick at his shirt in confusion, no doubt wondering why it was so large. His face was a little rounder, his eyes not darkened by eye bags. 

_Will I see the others shrink at one point as well?_

It was an inconvenience for all of us, but part of me was... somewhat looking forward to it.

"Let's go find Grisia," I suggested, not sure how to explain things. I would have suggested Lesus instead, but I wasn't sure if this Storm knew him yet. I did hope that I would find both together. "He can explain things to you."

Only by seeing his fellow holy knights all grown up would Storm be able to figure out the situation and that I wasn't the Hell Knight he thought I was.

Storm looked around. He was currently standing before the door of his room, the Storm Knight's. It was not the room he'd had as the Storm Knight-in-training, so no doubt he was wondering why he was here and why his teacher was nowhere to be found.

I knocked on Sun's door, but he was not in his room. Likely, he had already left. I nodded my head at the corridor, indicating for Storm to follow me. Follow me he did. I kept my strides short so that he would be able to keep up, but after a bit of walking, I suddenly found small hands grabbing at the scales protecting my waist. There really wasn't material on me loose enough for anyone to grab. 

Turning slightly, I held my hand out. Storm lowered his head, cheeks pink, but he grabbed my hand anyway. Looking up, I saw that there were a few female clerics walking about. 

"Come along," I said, walking just a bit faster so that less people would see Storm. "Grisia should be in the Pope's study at the moment."

Once we entered the Pope's study, I saw that both Sun and Judgment were indeed present. However, Judgment was... in the same state as Storm.

He sat across from Sun with narrowed eyes, hands folded protectively across his chest. His hair was longer than usual, coming down to his shoulders. Immediately, I was certain that this Judgment had yet to decide to become the Judgment Knight. He was probably between ten to twelve years old. There was absolutely no way he would hold Sun in such disregard otherwise. 

Sun turned, face lighting up. "Roland! Just in time! Come and explain..."

He halted in the middle of the sentence, his voice turning stilted. "Who are you pulling along?"

"Storm," I replied. It was a given, but perhaps even Sun had a difficult time spotting him since he was hiding behind my back. I stepped to the side and urged Storm forward. He shuffled forward, eyes darting cautiously at Sun, Judgment, and the Pope. Storm had truly changed greatly since his current age, growing much more confident in himself. The Storm who had welcomed me to the Holy Temple had an abundance of confidence. Even Sun wouldn't dare to cross him lightly.

He was truly admirable to have grown so much as a person. I, on the other hand, had always been stagnant and would now remain stagnant forever. 

Sun groaned and sank into his chair, like he didn't want to face all of this. "First Judgment, now Storm? Don't tell me there are other midgets running around that I don't know of!" 

I lifted my shoulders helplessly. I was just as clueless as he was. 

"You don't like children?" I asked. He had seemed fine with Elaro and Ludia.

"I don't like children who accuse me of not being the Sun Knight!" Sun complained.

_Judgment did that?_

No wonder Sun was feeling such irritation, and they were having a staring contest when I walked in, though surely Sun would win all such contests easily without the need to blink. To have his confidant forget him entirely, shrunk to an age where he no longer trusted Sun must not feel all that great. 

Waving his hand, Sun ushered me to sit next to Judgment and "take care of the two brats" while he talked the situation over with the Pope. I thought he probably just wanted to dump the explanations on me. I pulled Storm along to sit next to Judgment. Dark eyes flicked up. 

"Hello," I greeted Judgment, once more repeating my introduction. "I'm Roland Hell."

It seemed more and more likely that I would be repeating this line over and over again, but I didn't mind. 

"Good afternoon, sir," Judgment said and bowed his head.

I frowned. "No need to be so formal. You're actually my superior."

Judgment looked between me and Sun. I surmised that Sun had tried to explain things only for Judgment not to believe him. He probably had not believed the Pope either, given the Pope's appearance. He gazed at my face and asked, "Am I really the Judgment Knight?" 

I nodded.

Perhaps he finally accepted that he was the Judgment Knight after being told by three different people, or perhaps he sensed honesty in me. Now it was Judgment's turn to frown. "So he wasn't lying to me? He really is the 38th Sun Knight, and I'm the 38th Judgment Knight? But why would I want to become the Judgment Knight?" 

His voice was soft. It was not a question for me, but I still thought it over.

Why indeed had Lesus decided to become the Judgment Knight? This I did not know. Why had any of us decided to become one of the Twelve Holy Knights? Former Knight-Captain Sun had asked me a long, long time ago why I had wanted to be the Sun Knight. 

I'd answered that I wanted to punish all evil-doers. That I would lay down my life to accomplish this goal. How laugh worthy such a goal was, when in later years, I became that very evil-doer who slayed the Sun Knight yet was still forgiven. 

_Sun, you are truly too kind to me._

My answer had not been what Former Knight-Captain Sun was looking for.

If I were asked again, what would my answer be?

Would it be different?

I looked over at Sun, who was busy arguing with the Pope, and then looked back at Judgment whose clothes were quite loose on him. Both Judgment and Storm were so very young, yet they already had traces of the men I would come to know. 

I was glad. 

Very glad to have met them all. 

"What's going on?" Storm asked. "Did you lose your memories, Lesus? Wait, you look a little younger..." He glanced over at Sun. "I've been wondering this, but is that... Grisia?"

"Both of you deaged," I explained. "You were adults just an hour ago."

"Oh," was all Storm managed to say, eyes wide. He looked at Grisia again. Then, he looked up at me in confusion. "So you're not Teacher Hell?"

Shaking my head, I said, "I'm around the same age as the two of you when you're not deaged. We are of the same generation, the 38th generation."

When the Pope called me over, I left the two of them sitting together. They would have a lot to digest. It must not be easy, suddenly greeted by a world that was completely different from what they knew. Judgment began talking with Storm, who exclaimed, "Ehhh? You don't know me? I guess I'm not... memorable..."

_No Storm, he just hasn't even met you yet!_

"Have you figured anything out?" I asked the Pope.

The Pope nodded. "I have most of it figured out, but Sun's memories of what happened in the forest are not the most reliable. Can you fill me in about what you saw?"

I told him what I knew.

"Hm, yes, it's like what I've surmised. The dust is what caused them to deage," concluded the Pope.

"The dust?" I asked.

Both Sun and I had been covered by dust from the explosion too. _Does that mean we will deage at one point as well?_

"From what Judgment told me before he shrank, there was a large tree that was hit by the dark element that Sun shot down. This tree exploded into dust that settled on all of you," explained the Pope.

"What kind of crazy dust would shrink people?" asked Sun.

"Pixie dust," answered the Pope with a shrug. 

"Are you kidding me?" Sun shouted.

Both Judgment and Storm raised their heads to stare at Sun.

The Pope chided, "Sun, your elegance! You're scaring the youngsters. And no, I'm not kidding you. I know very well what pixie dust does."

Sun raised an eyebrow.

The Pope coughed, as if wanting to change the topic, and said, "More importantly, about the Twelve Holy Knights shrinking, it's likely that at one point, all of you will shrink at least once. But don't think you will only shrink once. It will likely happen many times."

"What?" Sun yelled. Both Judgment and Storm tried not to appear like they were staring at Sun, but they didn't really succeed. Sun ignored them. "Explain."

"Each time it happens, the duration might be different as well," continued the Pope. "I advise that you make sure you always have someone with you that can explain the situation."

Sun grumbled, "Like that did any good with Lesus."

"Is there any way to stop it from happening?" I asked.

The Pope shook his head. "The effect should wear off with time."

_And how long would that be?_

We could not leave the lands of darkness unattended for too long, but meanwhile, it seemed that the Holy Temple would be filled with youngsters in the days to come.


	4. A.nd then came the memories

On top of deaging, it seemed that anyone who experienced it would have memories from that age surface to the front of their mind after they returned to their normal age. 

Leaf confessed that he recalled just why he ended up liking seasonings so much. It had to do with one of his missions that he'd gone on in his early years of being the Leaf Knight-in-training, though I did not understand how his mission had led him into becoming obsessed with seasonings. Something about tasteless rations and uninspired food and how he could no longer stand it...?

"Ugh, I can still taste it..." Leaf shuddered. "Like it was yesterday..."

Whether or not Leaf added seasonings made no difference to me. Food was food. I had no need of it. But before everyone else, I would still pretend to eat. It was a pastime, if nothing else, a way to spend time together. I always worried over the food going to waste, but I would hate to disappoint Leaf and Ice even more than the food going to waste. It seemed that seasonings, ever since his training days, played a large part in Leaf's life.

Blaze confessed that he recalled feeling safe. Protected. He had been too young for him to remember much, but his mom had always liked to swing him up in the air, like what Blaze had made Cloud do. 

"I miss her," Blaze said. For once, his voice was soft. 

Metal confessed that he was really, really itching to deplume some pigeons right now. He laughingly said that his dad's friend had even once suggested for him to try out for the Leaf Knight! How stupid a suggestion was that? Metal hadn't believed the Leaf Knight to be capable of shooting a butterfly down from 1000 meters away, but that was before he'd met the Twelve Holy Knights. In Elmairy's case with his super eyesight, he just might be able to do it. After Metal spoke, he swung a bow across his back.

"Challenge you?" Metal said with a grin. "I wasn't too bad a shot back then. I brought in a ton of game for the family."

Leaf grinned as well, perhaps happy that someone was still willing to compete with him in archery. The more skilled we became, the fewer opponents we had. It was the same with swordplay. I was all too glad Judgment was willing to train with me.

Leaf and Metal headed off. 

Ice confessed that he recalled his dreams of becoming a baker. His daily life had completely been about delivering bread to their customers. He loved it when their customers smiled brightly and thanked him. Several of them would ruffle his hair, much like what Moon had done in the conference room. Each day, he would help his father make the bread, and then he would deliver them from one place to the next. He even remembered some of the recipes from back then that he'd forgotten over the years.

"Don't tell me you regret becoming the Ice Knight!" Sun protested.

Ice shook his head. "No, I was just reminded all the more of how happy I am here."

Then, he allowed himself a rare smile. 

He had not voiced it, but his thoughts were likely similar to mine. If we had not met the other Twelve Holy Knights, who would we be now? Entirely different people, most definitely. Would we have been happy? Perhaps in a different way. We would never know. But I did know that I was very happy right now to be among our companions.

Storm confessed that he wished he had been confident from the start.

"I would never have ended up with so much paperwork then!" Storm exclaimed. "Imagine that!"

"Forget it," Earth cut in. "That would never have happened!"

"Don't say it!" moaned Storm. 

He very clearly remembered his fear at the time, of not only women, but of all strangers. Their gazes are full of expectation, claimed Storm. What if I can't live up to them? 

"Then, how was it that you weren't scared of me?" I asked. I touched my waist, recalling the feeling of Storm's tiny hands trying to find comfort.

Storm thought it over for a bit. "Maybe because... you have a trustworthy face?" 

_I have a trustworthy face?_

"That, or you were the first person I saw, so it's kind of like... imprinting!"

 _Imprinting..._ I wasn't too sure what to think.

Judgment confessed that once he returned to his original age, he still could not forget the rage that had overtaken him. He had only just heard the news of his parents' murderer finally being sentenced, too late for his parents to be saved. 

"I had wanted to avenge them by my own hands," Judgment said. "I was too naive back then. Justice is not so easily dealt by the mere act of pulling a dagger. This I know now."

"You were such a brat!" Sun complained.

"I give you permission to hit me on the head if I'm ever so foolish again," Judgment said.

"You're the one who said it!" Sun quickly said. He looked very eager.

_So even Judgment had such a period of time in his life?_

He was always so calm and collected with his emotions under tight control. I could think of no better person to lead those of us in the "cold, cruel-hearted" faction. Just by being in his company made me want to lay aside my hatred, to collect myself, to be a better person. He was what I could never be for Grisia, a steady presence. It was hard to imagine him letting hate fester in his heart. 

But even Judgment had such a time in the past. Would I then, one day, be worthy of being among everyone?

On top of their memories from the past, they remembered meeting "Roland Hell."

"It was almost like I'd actually met you back then," Leaf said with a smile. "I wholeheartedly believed that you were our Hell Knight-in-training. Wouldn't that have been nice?"

It would have.

It truly would have been nice.

Sun grinned. "Isn't this great, Roland? We'll get to learn about you and make up for all those years we've missed!"

I smiled.

Perhaps I too would turn into a child at one point and get to meet everyone through the eyes of a child. What memories would I recall then?

That night, the twelve of us had pigeon stew for dinner. Complete with rich seasonings, of course. Even though I couldn't taste it with my tongue, it was still one of the most delicious dinners I'd ever had, surrounded by my companions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (this concept of deaging was inspired by the series Kokoro Connect.)


	5. N.ever too old to be a kid

During our morning meeting, Blaze kicked open the door like usual. Unlike usual, a short, pink-haired boy toddled in after him. Immediately, Leaf stood up and rushed over.

"Cloud?" he exclaimed and knelt down to get a better look.

The little boy's eyes were impossibly large on that small face of his. This was possibly the first time I'd ever seen Cloud's eyes. His bangs were not as long as his later hairstyle, but they still came down past his eyebrows. The rest of his hair was tied at the back, but unlike the usual length, it was very short.

He grabbed a fistful of Blaze's pants and, from behind Blaze's leg, peered out at Leaf. _Seems like he's just as shy as usual._ Then, he shook his head, large eyes blinking in confusion at Leaf. "I'm Demos. Not a cloud."

_Or not._

Jaws dropped.

"Is that really Cloud?"

"Did he just speak out against Leaf?"

Blaze grinned, hand coming down to ruffle Cloud's hair. Cloud smiled happily and brightly up at him. We stared. "Found him like this on my way here," Blaze explained. "He was just wandering around the corridors."

"Not hiding?"

"Nope," Blaze replied and scratched his face.

"The clothes were fine?" Judgment asked.

Since we didn't know what age each of us would deage to, we could only prepare a room full of clothes suitable for various ages. I had no clothes to donate, but several of the other knight-captains gathered old clothes from their homes to stock the room.

"Yeah," Blaze answered. "I took him to the room and had him pick out his own clothes."

We turned to look at Cloud's clothes. His shirt was light purple decorated with strawberries. The sleeves were wide and still a little long on him. In fact, the shirt itself was long enough to look like a nightdress. Instead of shoes, he had on pink slippers. He looked dressed for a nap.

"Is that shirt yours?" Earth asked Leaf with raised eyebrows.

Leaf shook his head. "No, I wasn't ever called Strawberry until..."

He didn't need to finish for all of us to know what he wanted to say.

_Until Sun._

"It's mine," Ice suddenly said.

"Oh."

We looked over Cloud's cute clothes again and tried to imagine a mini Ice wearing them in the past. The image was not... incongruous, actually, especially considering the young Ice we'd met a few days ago.

Cloud was given one of the chairs, but when he climbed on it, all I could see of him was the top of his head. In the end, Blaze took him to the side of the room to play with him instead of joining the meeting.

"Now that all of us are present, let's start the meeting," Judgment said. Sun was not present, but that was normal.

We discussed what we should do about the land of darkness, but as we discussed, another one of us shrank. We weren't even surprised anymore. The meeting quickly turned into explaining the situation to him so that he would not freak out. He was fairly trusting. 

"I'm going to teleport you with me to the dressing room, okay?" I asked after I'd introduced myself as Roland Hell.

He nodded, head bobbing up and down. He wouldn't have been able to do so if he hadn't shrunk.

Then, I grabbed hold of him to teleport him so that he could pick out something different to wear from the room. There were already rumors out there that the Hell Knight has a secret child just because I'd walked Storm to the Pope's study the other day, so teleporting was the better option. 

_I wonder if anyone saw Blaze and Cloud just now..._

"Wow, you really can teleport! That's amazing! And whoa, look at all those clothes!"

Seven-year-old Vival turned his head to look at all the clothes in the room. He had not an ounce of disdain in his admiration.

First Ice. Then Cloud. And now Moon. They had all been very friendly children. Ice had learned to close himself off. Moon had learned to hide his good nature. Cloud had learned to hide himself altogether. 

_Do you regret having to hide so much, Moon? Do you miss those carefree days of the past?_

_But even so, Moon, I'm glad to have met you, both your adult self, and now your younger self._

Sun had said this was an opportunity for them to get to know me, but it was just as equal an opportunity for me to get to know them.

Moon had learned to hide over the years, but even his adult self held traces of his amiable nature. When I had first come to the Holy Temple, a stranger intruding on their routine, Moon and Stone had welcomed me wholeheartedly into the "cruel, cold-hearted" faction. Ice didn't say much, but he kept having me try out different types of sweets. Judgment immediately asked me to practice sword-fighting with him. Only Metal gave me the side-eye, but Moon quickly reassured me that it was only because he was envious.

_Envious? Why?_

_Well, you always spar with Captain Judgment..._

_Why doesn't he come and spar with us too then?_

_That's not the point, Hell..._

There truly were many things I didn't understand, but Moon patiently walked me through things and helped me understand Metal better, treating me like I was one of them from the start.

"Oh, this one looks like mine!" Moon held up a tunic.

"Your older self must have brought it in," I said. I nodded satisfactorily. If he wished, he could even train in such an outfit. _A good choice for a knight._

Moon looked pleased, but then he put the tunic back and chose something else, a shirt with cupcakes decorating it. He tilted his head at it. A large smile came over his face.

"I'll take this one!" he declared.

"Why?" It wasn't very formal and was nothing like what he normally wore. It was not suitable for training and looked more like sleepwear.

"I'd match with the little kid in the corner!" he said happily. He then proceeded to pick a pair of pants and boots.

After he changed, I teleported us back to the conference room. Moon ran his hand through his hair and headed to the corner where Blaze was playing with Cloud. They had somehow procured ink and paper, most likely from Storm, and were now drawing all over it. Cloud was even kicking his feet happily behind him while laying flat on his stomach. He had truly been a cheerful child.

"Look, look, we match!" Moon declared, arms extending outward to show off his clothes. He turned to show Cloud the back as well, and then he leaned down. He tucked his hair behind his ears. "Can I join you?"

Cloud raised his head from his paper. "Sure!"

With permission granted, Moon plopped down next to Cloud. After crossing his legs, he pulled over a piece of paper and began drawing energetically.

"Is that also yours?" Earth asked Ice, gesturing at Moon's clothes. 

Ice nodded.

"Just what kind of clothes were your parents buying for you..." Metal muttered off to the side.

Ice replied, "I chose them myself."

"..."

Judgment nodded at me. "Thanks for taking care of Moon's clothes. You might be making several more trips."

"It's not a problem," I replied, pleased that I was able to help. I laid Moon's regular outfit next to Cloud's on one of the chairs. They would need these in easy reach. We never knew when they would suddenly change back.

After that, I joined the discussion about the land of darkness once more. The two children played quietly in the corner, while Blaze, who was currently not a kid, was actually the loudest.

"Swoosh! Kaboom!" Blaze yelled, his motions so large that he must be splattering the floor with ink. In fact, he had ink on his face and his clothes, so it was unlikely that the floor was any cleaner.

I glanced over, but as I did so, Storm waved his hand in the air to dismiss Blaze's actions. "He's been like that since the beginning."

_Oh._

I turned around to face the table again.

_Perhaps Blaze is trying to teach them how to better utilize their voices?_

I had to admit that Blaze's voice carried well. If he were to yell a command, there was no way his platoon would not be able to hear him. His loud voice was very suitable for a captain. Perhaps I should get lessons from him too.

"Careful!" Moon admonished. "What if your ink splatters on her?"

"Her?" Blaze echoed.

_Her?_

This time, Storm didn't stop me from turning. In fact, as one, those of us at the table couldn't help but turn our heads to watch what was going on with the kids. 

Moon had stood up to stand in front of Cloud protectively. He had his hands on his hips, brush dangling from his hand, and one foot tapping. A demanding pose, most definitely. Blaze was looking up at Moon from his position on the floor. He blinked and tilted his head. There was only one person behind Moon -- Cloud.

" _Her?_ " Blaze asked blankly, pointing with his brush in the direction of Moon's legs which were blocking Cloud. 

"Yes, _her,_ " Moon said and jutted his chin up. _Ah, now that's a familiar look. Perhaps this is why former Knight-Captain Moon chose him..._

Beside me, someone snickered. Another person tried to muffle his laughter. Apparently, Moon had mistaken Cloud for a girl.

"That little bastard, he's trying to put the moves on Cloud," said Earth in awe.

I blinked. _Eh?! That's what he's trying to do?_

"What a womanizer!" Storm shook his head. "Am I seeing young Moon, or am I seeing young Earth?"

"Hey hey," chided Earth. "Don't drag me into this! You should be wondering why mini you isn't more like him!"

"Moon..." sighed Metal.

"There it is again," Stone said. "Moon's gallantry. He's really toned it down since then, hasn't he?"

"Big sister, I don't mind!" Cloud suddenly said while pulling on Moon's pants with his ink-stained fingers. He stared up at Moon.

_Big...sister?!_

Moon blinked and looked down. "Big sister?" he echoed.

Cloud tilted his head in confusion. "Aren't you a big sister like big sister Aris?"

The others around me abruptly broke out into laughter. Their laughter was infectious. I found myself chuckling as well. Perhaps Moon would have fared better if he'd chosen the tunic instead.

Meanwhile, Ice looked forlornly at his ink-splattered old shirts. Judgment patted him on the shoulder. 

When Cloud and Moon finally returned to their adult selves two days later, a grown-up Moon blinked his eyes apologetically at Cloud, his cheeks pink.

"Sorry, you really reminded me of my first crush," he said. "She was..."

_She was...?_

"...cute," finished Moon unhelpfully.

Cloud quickly shook his head but did not disappear right away like we thought he would. _Has his old, more open personality rubbed off on him?_

"It was fun," Cloud said softly. 

Blaze laughed. "Wasn't it? It was awesome!"

I later heard that Cloud kept all the ink drawings they had done together in his room. The only reason I found out was because Storm nearly went crazy trying to find several sheets of missing paperwork the other day... only to realize that Blaze had taken the wrong stack of papers to use as drawing paper!


	6. D.eath monarch chauffeur service

Just this morning, Stone had turned into a fourteen year old, and I'd quickly teleported him away so he could change. Then, near noontime, Earth shrank as well, I was called, and I hurriedly scooped up a six-year-old Earth into my arms to teleport him. My skills as a death monarch were being put to good use, but even so, someone outside of the Twelve Holy Knights could have seen them shrinking. 

It was getting less and less likely that we would be able to keep the situation hidden, especially since we had no idea when one of us would suddenly shrink. I could only push myself to teleport anyone who shrunk as soon as we realized they had shrunk. Sun could also do it, but in order to maintain his appearance as the Sun Knight (who isn't supposed to know magic), I did most of the teleportation. Just in case anyone saw us. After all, the entire continent knew very little about what the Hell Knight was capable of, so it was not unfathomable that the Hell Knight might know teleportation. In fact, thanks to one of Sun's previous stints in the city, it was rumored that the Hell Knight knows how to shoot arrows of holy light... which I could not actually do. I did at least try forming arrows out of dark element. They were adequate though not the right color.

We took to staying in groups of threes to make sure we always had one of the other Twelve Holy Knights near us if we were to deage. Then, one of them could be sent for me, and I'd quickly teleport over. Today, I was in a group with Judgment and Ice. 

In the afternoon, when Storm alerted me to yet another one of us shrinking, I immediately made my way over to the courtyard via teleportation, leaving Storm with Judgment and Ice. The courtyard was not very far away, but the sooner we got him away from the public eye, the better. 

The moment I reached the courtyard, the sun shone down relentlessly upon me, my surroundings bursting in brightness because of my sudden teleportation. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust. Voices drifted to my ears.

"You can see, Sun?" Leaf asked in a small voice. They were behind me, just on the opposite side of the bushes.

"Of course! Why wouldn't I be able to see?" Sun exclaimed. "Strawberry, has old age muddled your brain?" From Sun's words, I could tell that someone had already explained to Sun that he had lost a few years. Since his voice did not sound overly young, perhaps he had not lost all that many years, unlike the others who had shrunk before him. 

I pushed past the bushes, bracing myself to meet this younger Sun, a Sun whom I had not yet reunited with. Leaf's back faced me, partially blocking Sun, but I could see enough. Like I had guessed, this was a Sun I'd never gotten to known. This was the Sun Knight I had always watched from afar during my time as a royal knight. I'd never spoken with him. The most I'd ever seen of him was when he would sometimes accompany his teacher to the palace, and even then, I'd only catch a glimpse of him. He was like a being from a completely different world, one I wasn't a part of. I had dreamed of it, but it was not to be.

Who knew that years later, I would actually get to join that same world of his? I would never have guessed.

This Sun's eyes were very, very blue, his hair a dazzling golden. I knew all too well why Leaf had asked about Sun's sight. If Judgment were here, he would no doubt gaze at Sun's golden hair, recalling the very moment the breathtaking color had faded away into white. I gazed at him, this unmarred Sun, unable to look away. 

This was Sun. This was Sun before he had been weakened irrevocably... because of me.

"No, it's just that..." Without completing his sentence, Leaf moved forward. He brought his arms up and hugged his deaged leader. Sun's eyes widened.

"Omph!" said Sun.

"Sorry Sun. I'm so sorry," Leaf murmured, clinging to Sun, hands clenching the back of Sun's clothes that were currently looser on him.

"If you were sorry, you'd let go of me right now!" protested Sun. But even as he said so, he brought his hand up to pet Leaf on the head. "Silly Strawberry. Are you the grown man, or am I? I thought I was the one who shrank!"

Wanting to make my presence known, as eavesdropping on a private conversation was not something a knight should do, I stepped away from the bushes. Seeing my approach through the corner of his eye, Sun complained, "Lesus, just what is going on-"

When he glanced up and actually saw me, he furrowed his brows. "You're not Lesus."

He had probably just had a general impression of a lot of black. Although I was clad in black, I was indeed not Lesus. 

Leaf finally let go of Sun. He brushed the corner of his eye. When he turned around, he had a sad smile on his face but had otherwise gotten a hold of his emotions. "Hell, you're here."

"Hell?" questioned Sun. He looked me up and down. Then, he plastered on a wide, beaming smile and said, "Dear Brother Hell, today is a most blessed day for Sun to be able to meet one of his most elusive brethren. The sunlight bathes us in warm camaraderie thanks to the God of Light's generosity. Sun is ever so thankful and welcomes you to share in the God of Light's benevolence, that we may all walk under the brilliant light with utmost confidence and openness."

For a moment, I didn't know how to respond. Sun's words were difficult to decipher, but the content was not of the utmost importance. The fact that he had even spoken in such a way to me spoke volumes.

He considered me an outsider.

I pulled my mask down and deactivated my Hell Knight disguise, letting my natural hair color before death appear. When I blinked my eyes, I was sure they were now back to blue.

"Grisia, it's been a long time," I greeted. I'd gotten used to calling him Sun, but I did not yet have such a bond with this Sun that I could call him that.

Sun blinked. Then he blinked again, as if not trusting his eyes. Finally, he asked, "...Roland? Are you Roland? But... since when have you been the Hell Knight?"

"Since you instated me as the Hell Knight," I responded with a smile.

"I did what?" Sun's jaws dropped. "How did my teacher not kill me for doing that..."

Leaf chuckled.

"Come, we can catch up later, but let's get you out of this courtyard. It won't do for random people to see you like this," I told him.

"Then my teacher really would kill me," said Sun with a dry laugh. 

I nodded. 

We left Leaf in the courtyard, as Storm and the others would soon come to find him. When I teleported Sun to the room full of clothes, Sun immediately exclaimed, "Roland, since when have you graduated from being solely a sword idiot to even knowing wind magic? This is unfair!"

"You know how to teleport too," I said.

"Really?" Sun's eyes shone.

"Even though you've forgotten how, now that you've seen me do it, I'm sure you've grasped the knowledge of how to perform the spell," I added.

"Huh." Sun tilted his head and began gathering wind element. In the next moment, he vanished and appeared on top of one of the closets. "Whoa! Amazing!" he shouted. "Did you see what I just did, Roland?" He sat down on the closet, legs dangling over the edge, hands gripping the side as he peered down at me. 

I craned my neck to look up at him. "Yes, I saw."

He made a face at me. "It wouldn't hurt for you to show more emotion! Since when have you turned into a brick, Roland?"

"Since always," I said.

Sun laughed. "I take it back. You can crack a joke, huh?"

I smiled. Then, I teleported right next to Sun.

"Ack! Are you trying to give me a heart attack or what?" Sun shouted, hands over his heart.

"Maybe." I sat down.

Sun huffed but didn't comment further on that. He looked out at the sea of clothes. It wasn't much of a view, not like watching the sunrise, but I actually liked this view. The others of the Twelve Holy Knights had all left something of theirs in here, and from these clothes that they had brought, such as Ice's "sleepwear" and Moon's tunics, I could see bits and pieces of their past. They had all once been that young.

We sat in companionable silence, with Sun looking this way and that, trying to find something he could wear. He had not deaged as much as the others, perhaps around ten years, putting him at eighteen or so. His build had not changed greatly over the past ten years, so if he didn't want to change his clothes, he didn't really need to.

"Roland, why was Elmairy crying?" Sun suddenly asked. "Does something happen to me?"

I gripped the wood of the closet below me. "You...should ask Lesus that."

I did not know if it was in my place to tell Sun. I did not know if the others would want me to tell him. Sun would not remain this young for very long. There was no need for me to cause him to feel uneasy in this short period that he'd be with us, but the code of a knight teaches that one must never lie. 

So I opted to remain silent.

"Not going to answer?" Sun frowned. "Well, then, can you tell me why you're full of dark element?"

I didn't know how to answer this either. He might blame himself.

This Sun, this Grisia, was so young. He had his future ahead of him. It was like we had been given a second chance, a do-over. If we could somehow make it so that Sun would stay this age, I had no doubt that several of us, no, perhaps all of us, would choose to make it happen.

This was Sun, before he'd given part after part of himself away, things he would never recover, to protect each and every one of us.

"Not going to say anything? Then let me guess." 

When I still didn't respond, Sun took it as a sign to keep on talking. He muttered, "Deatheo looked very weighed down by his paperwork. Strawberry's face was a lot sharper than I remember. Neither of them look super old, but I'm a hundred percent sure they're both several years older than you, and that just doesn't add up."

"What makes you so sure I haven't deaged just like you?" I asked. 

"With that question, now I'm sure you haven't deaged," Sun answered.

I stilled. Then I threw my head back and laughed. At times like these, I half wished Sun weren't so smart. I could never out-think him. I glanced over at him. "You're right, Grisia. I haven't deaged. But I don't really want to tell you why I look like this. You would be happier not knowing."

"Who are you to decide what would make me happy or not?" grumbled Sun. "You should let me decide."

"Grisia," I said, at a loss. "The future is not all that happy a place. You might be happier not knowing about what has happened over the past few years. Staying your current age might even be..."

But even as I spoke, I recalled what Sun had said to Leaf back in the conference room the other day.

_The future really isn't bad at all!_

Sun glared at me with fierce, blue eyes. "Roland, you think I want to stay this age with no memories of the years we've shared later on? No matter what happened in those years to me, I don't care. I want to be the Sun Knight. I can't be the Sun Knight looking like this now, can I? Besides, how can the future not be a happy place if I've even managed to instate you as the Hell Knight?"

I bowed my head, a smile coming over my face.

Of course Sun would answer this way.

I was wrong. I _did_ know this Sun after all. No matter his age, Sun would always be Sun, and he would always care for us.

I jumped off the closet, willing my wings to appear.


	7. H.ey mommy, can we have potato stew?

Thankfully, eighteen-year-old Sun did not blast me with holy light upon seeing my transformation, but it was probably because I ended up knocking over several bundles of clothes. He was too busy laughing to do anything else.

Despite his laughter, I knew that he must be wondering any number of things, trying to figure out just what kind of future each of us had lived to lead us to this point. I only filled him in on how an undead creature like me had ended up at the Holy Temple. Many things had happened over the years, but for me, that was the turning point of my life. Well, my undead life. 

After that, Sun picked one of his own sets of clothes from the past to change into. While his build was not all that different, he did indeed appear much younger, much less battered down by the years, even more so after he changed his outfit. Judgment and the others dropped by at this point. I left with Storm and Leaf, certain that Sun and Judgment had a lot to catch up on. I was right that Judgment would not be able to take his eyes off of Sun's hair.

As teenagers, Stone and Sun were somewhat capable of taking care of their own duties. They just couldn't appear in public, so that meant they couldn't do any of their public duties, but they could do everything else. Earth, on the other hand, was not capable of any of his duties, so we could only split his duties up among the rest of us. With so many of us shrinking, Storm had more and more extra paperwork to tend to. Since we needed to stay in threes to make sure we didn't shrink without the knowledge of one of the others, I pretty much moved in with Storm for the time being to correct paperwork through the night. Leaf had also decided to help with the paperwork.

The next morning, we had another meeting. The three of them had yet to turn back, but Stone adamantly wanted to attend the meeting, and even Sun wanted to come along as well, possibly because he was not comfortable enough to be left out of the conversation. With the current circumstances, it would be best if none of us were left alone, so it worked out. 

Judgment cleared his throat and said, "The Pope has tasked us with a new mission. If you could explain the details, Storm?"

"Right." Storm said, "There's been rumors of kidnappings in the marketplace. Mothers have been reporting children going missing on their shopping trips."

Our faces immediately darkened. Storm explained some more, and our faces darkened further. We immediately tried to devise a plan. Luring the culprits out would be the quickest way, but we didn't want to endanger the citizens any further. 

Suddenly, Sun said, "I have an idea."

When we all turned to look at him, he smiled widely. "Why not go undercover ourselves to lure them out? We have a kid right there, don't we?" He gestured to the side where Leaf was reading a story to Earth.

Leaf raised his head, having heard the conversation. "Sun, even if you don't like Earth, you can't toss him into danger like that! He's just a kid!"

"Who says he'll be in danger? I'll protect him!" Sun protested.

Judgment raised an eyebrow. "Does this mean you'll go undercover too?"

"Eh?" Sun squeaked out.

We all looked at him.

Storm smiled widely. "You said you'd protect him, right?"

"EH?"

Unexpectedly, Cloud was the first to volunteer for the mission, but even though he was willing to play the part of the mother, Storm and everyone else said that it would be better for Sun to do it. Not only did Sun claim responsibility for Earth, we were afraid that the kidnappers would not be able to see Cloud in the first place. Moreover, there was a slight possibility that the citizens would recognize Cloud as the Cloud Knight, though no one mentioned that it was a very, very, very slight possibility given that very few people even knew what the Cloud Knight looked like. 

Sun, on the other hand, was much younger than the Sun Knight was currently supposed to be, so it was unlikely that anyone would suspect him of being the Sun Knight. Last of all, if worst came to worst, Sun could teleport himself and Earth away. 

When he heard the answer, Cloud frowned. Then, he asked in a quiet voice, "But can I still join the mission?"

It was the first we'd seen him so invested in a mission. Judgment nodded. "Of course."

I teleported Earth to the dressing room while Sun teleported himself over. Sun immediately pouted once we were there.

"Why do I have to play the part of his mother?" Sun pointed at Earth. "I don't at all look old enough to have such an old kid!"

_Because you came up with the idea..._

" _Mommy_ , that's not the way to ask someone for help!" Mini Earth admonished while snickering.

"Oh?" Sun smiled and pulled on Earth's cheeks. "Then, is this the way?"

"Ouch!"

"Sun," I reprimanded him. "You shouldn't do that."

"Why? Isn't he my kid? Itty bitty Georgo~~"

"Itty bitty Georgo" grabbed Sun's hair and pulled on it.

"Why you brat!" growled Sun.

I frowned. While I wanted to blame their behavior on the fact that they had deaged, that actually... probably... wasn't even all that huge a factor. In some ways, Sun was the epitome of knighthood, especially with his loyalty, but in other ways... he was very much not a holy knight I would use as a role model for our future students.

After we got changed for the mission, we shadowed Sun and Earth as they made their way to the marketplace. Sun held Earth's hand, but they bickered the entire way. From behind, they truly did look like they were a family... but more like siblings rather than mother and son.

"Are they really going to be okay?" Leaf fretted. "They haven't even assumed office at their current age, yet we're sending them out on such a dangerous mission..."

"Don't worry, Cloud is shadowing them closely," Storm said. "Besides, we'd all gone on missions long before we officially took over."

"True, but Earth is _only_ six."

Despite Earth only being six, he was an amazing actor. By the time they reached the marketplace, Earth turned completely angelic. He gazed up at the vendor with wide eyes and said, "Big sister, those potatoes look super yummy!"

He pulled on Sun's dress. "Mommy, can we have potato stew tonight?"

Sun smiled a forced smile. "Oh, I don't know..."

The vendor lady giggled. "Oh my, what a beautiful young mother! I thought you were siblings. Your son is absolutely precious."

Sun's smile turned even more forced. He gripped Earth's hand. Hard.

Earth winced, but he quickly covered that up with a large smile. "Big sister! I think mommy is afraid the potatoes are too expensive..." By the end of his sentence, Earth's face fell. He flicked his eyes up at the potatoes but quickly averted his gaze to look at the ground instead. He really, really looked like he wanted the potatoes a whole lot.

"Damn that Earth!" Storm said in awe. "Just how is he doing that so naturally?"

"We shouldn't be trying to trick the vendors..." Leaf said with a frown.

After purchasing a bag of potatoes for quite a cheap price, Sun seemed a lot more mollified. A grin came over his face, and he pulled Earth over to another stand to buy more goods.

"...I think he's just realized the power of Earth's cuteness as a kid over the vendors," Storm said. 

"Sun!" wailed Leaf. "It's really not nice to trick people like that!"

We watched helplessly as Sun and Earth bargained back and forth with the vendors. It was like they had completely forgotten about the mission. However, with so many bags in his hands, Sun had no choice but to let go of Earth's hand. Earth slowed his steps down, keeping Sun in sight but knowing that he was supposed to make himself an easy target.

Storm muttered, "Why do I have this overwhelming urge to praise Earth for being a responsible kid? He's being way more responsible than the eighteen-year-old!"

Though Storm was being flippant with his words, he was just as vigilant as Leaf and me. We kept our eyes on the crowd.

_There!_

A man with a jovial smile bent down to pat Earth on the head. We watched him carefully, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw something else -- a flash of pink.

_Cloud?!_

It was Cloud, but much, much younger. 

He had shrunk once again. The only reason I had even seen him was because a vendor had just chased him out from below his table. We had been worried that Earth or Sun would suddenly return to their original ages, but we hadn't thought another one of us would shrink in the middle of the mission!

"Leaf, Storm, take care of Sun and Earth," I hurriedly said. "I'm taking Cloud away from the mission."

They glanced over at the direction I indicated, eyes widening when they spotted Cloud. 

Dashing out, I grabbed a hold of Cloud's small hand and teleported him back to the Holy Temple. 

With wide eyes, Cloud looked up at me. 

His lips parted. I could barely hear him.

"...Are you...a bandit too?" he asked in a tiny, trembling voice.


	8. E.h no, there will be no potato stew tonight

"No, I'm not a bandit." I pulled down my mask, my face softening. "I'm Roland Hell, the Hell Knight. You are safe."

I held Cloud's tiny, tiny hand. He was actually older than the previous time he had deaged, but unlike his previous, cheerful self, this Cloud was much more withdrawn. 

_What happened in the interim?_

From the question he had asked me, I had a vague guess. Cloud had been a very strong child to have braved through so much. 

"Look, we are in the Holy Temple in the Church of the God of Light. You are safe," I said, gesturing at our surroundings.

Cloud turned his head to look around. Finally, he breathed out. "I'm... safe...?"

I nodded.

He gulped. "Can you... take me to big sister then...?" he asked in a very small voice, as if afraid I would berate him for asking.

"I will try," I answered. "But first, I need to send help to my friends. Then, we'll look for people who know your big sister."

Cloud nodded.

I kept Cloud close as I searched for help to send Storm and the others. My eyes landed on the perfect candidate.

"Tyler," I called out.

When he heard me, he immediately jogged over. "Captain!" he saluted. Then, he darted his eyes down at Cloud, but he made no comment. Cloud hurriedly hid behind me. We had previously explained the situation to a select number of our vice-captains so that they could take over our public duties as needed. I, of course, had opted to tell Tyler. With all that he had gone through for me, there was nothing I would keep from him. He had already seen all my secrets and had shown loyalty beyond what I deserved. I could have asked for no better vice-captain. 

"Knight-Captain Storm, Knight-Captain Leaf, Knight-Captain Sun, and Knight-Captain Earth are in need of your aid. They are in the marketplace. Head over there immediately. The latter two are undercover as mother and son. When I left, Knight-Captain Earth was just about to be kidnapped."

Tyler's eyes only widened slightly. "U-Understood, Captain!"

"If you spot Adair or Vidar along the way, bring them with you."

"Yes, Captain!"

We should have perhaps had them go with us since the start, as there was always the possibility that any among the twelve of us would shrink or grow at any moment in time. We had overestimated ourselves. 

With that taken care of, I tried to search for the remaining Twelve Holy Knights, hoping they would know more about Cloud's big sister. Despite working along with Cloud for many years, I was ashamed to admit that I did not actually know Cloud's background very well.

After coming across Blaze, Moon, and Metal, Cloud immediately blurted, "Big sister!" 

Metal scratched his face and grinned. "Seems like he still remembers you from the other time, Moon."

Moon blinked, but he held out a hand to Cloud, who took it shyly. We walked Cloud to his room, hoping he would feel more at ease there. Once we reached his room, I saw that the rumored ink drawings done on Storm's paperwork were pasted on the wall. While none of the three who had taken part in the drawings could claim to be artists, the drawings were full of life. And messy splatters. 

Cloud smiled, shoulders relaxing.

It seemed that Cloud finally felt safe. I smiled too.

In the evening, we received a telepathic message from Sun with coordinates to the kidnappers' stronghold. Psychic magic was not something eighteen-year-old Sun knew. It was highly likely that Sun had returned to his original age. I was sure he was not very happy to find himself in a dress, and I was right. 

I teleported myself to the location Sun had indicated to help them capture the kidnappers and free the kids. The first thing Sun said upon sensing me was, "Roland! How could you let ignorant, past me agree to wearing a dress?!"

"It was a sound plan," I said.

"Yeah right!" Sun said sarcastically. 

_But Sun, you were the one who suggested going undercover..._

Sun, upon returning to his original age, had not covered his white hair with holy element, perhaps as another layer of disguise. Now that he was no longer eighteen, there was indeed a possibility someone might recognize him as the Sun Knight. But since he was "in disguise," he blasted the kidnappers with wind blades and sliced cleanly through the shackles on the door. 

The mission was a success. As we made sure we had everything taken care of, Earth grumbled that Sun really didn't have anything to complain about. At least his clothes still fit! Earth, on the other hand, had needed to steal one of the kidnappers clothes so that he would not be accused of being a flasher. 

After that, I teleported Earth back to the Holy Temple so that he could change. He got changed quickly and left. Sun also teleported to the room of clothes to grab his discarded uniform. As he changed, Sun confessed, "I _am_ glad to be back, Roland, even though I could have done without the shock of suddenly finding myself in a dress. Still, I couldn't have asked for a better experience, getting to know you from the perspective of a teenager."

I smiled.

"Did the change trigger any memories?" I asked. 

Sun nodded. "It was just around the time I'd chosen Adair as my vice-captain. I totally thought he would never listen to me! I blasted him down the cliff one hundred times and jumped after him one hundred times, but he just. wouldn't. give up. Stubborn bastard."

"You're really lucky that he's so stubborn," I said and smiled even more.

"Ah, I am lucky indeed," Sun agreed. "If not for him, I wouldn't be here anymore. I sure had great foresight back then, huh? Though I was actually a little scared to tell Teacher Neo about my choice of vice-captain."

"Why?" I asked.

Sun huffed. "I drilled obedience into Adair, but even I wasn't a hundred percent sure he wouldn't challenge me in front of Teacher Neo and make me lose face! Thankfully, the cliff incident worked wonders."

After he finished changing, Sun rattled off the names of people who had shrunk. "First it was Blaze, Leaf, Ice, and Metal. Then Storm and Judgment, followed by Cloud and Moon. Last, it was me, Stone, and Earth."

"Cloud shrank again," I said.

"What?" Surprised, Sun raised his head up. "Cloud shrank again? With how things are going, I thought you would be next. I think you should brace yourself, Roland. You never know when it might be your turn."

It was true. I had yet to shrink. 

If I were to return to the age of a child, what would I remember? 

Would I...possibly... finally recall the gaps in my memories caused by Pink? 

How had I ended up as a royal knight? I could not even recall that, nor could I recall what I had felt the day Grisia had been chosen as the Sun Knight. These were all precious memories I wanted to treasure, yet they eluded me, reminding me all the more of how unlike everyone else I was.

All I had been was an empty shell.

"Ah!" Sun suddenly shouted.

I snapped my head up in alarm.

"I left behind the potatoes and all the other bags!


	9. L.ook, i don't think i'm a tree...?

After the kidnapping incident, several more of the others shrank at different times. I started off each day wondering if I would be next and what I would remember. When Storm shrank once again and stayed a child for nearly a week, we all went crazy not knowing what to do with all the accumulated paperwork. It had piled up so much that there were stacks after stacks of paperwork lining the walls outside of Storm's door. Then, one day, Leaf frowned, went through the stacks, and began returning them to the owners. 

"Storm is just a child! You shouldn't be piling your responsibility on him!" Leaf berated.

Although Leaf and I tried to work through what remained of Storm's paperwork after we returned the stacks in the hallway, without Storm's presence, the paperwork just seemed like it wasn't lessening at all despite the amount we were going through. When Storm finally returned to his adult self, nearly all of us wanted to cry in happiness. Storm, on the other hand, cried tears of sorrow at seeing the state of his bedroom. I tried to make sure his bed would not be buried by papers, but I had not succeeded.

Another time, Judgment and Sun deaged at the same time. Moon could not stop stalking them during this time, declaring them to be "adorable." They truly were quite cute. Who knew Judgment was shy at the age of five, while Sun was already quite a leader at the age of four? He seemed to want to stick his nose in everything, and he pulled Judgment right along with him. His favorite past time was begging sweets off of Ice. Sun would bring Judgment with him, and they would stare up at Ice with large, shining eyes...

It was clear that the effect of the dust had not yet worn off. No one around me knew when they would suddenly revert back to a teenager or child; however, I was starting to have an inkling about myself.

"The dust doesn't affect me, does it?" I asked the Pope one day while holding the hand of a young Leaf. He was around five years old.

The Pope placed his teacup down. "What do you remember of the dust from that day in the forest?"

I tried to remember the forest. It felt so long ago. Grisia and I had been battling in midair when he tried to blast me. The blast of dark element had hit the forest instead, and both of us had been covered in dust. When I flew downwards to check on everyone's conditions, the dust had trickled away from me...

"It never stayed on my skin," I finally said.

The Pope nodded. "That makes sense. Although the dust brings back youth, it cannot bring back life. Normally, the dust seeps into the skin, but in your case, it didn't."

_Because I am an undead creature._

It seemed that I would not recall those memories after all. Here was yet another way I was different from everyone else.

As I helped Storm correct his paperwork that evening, I could not stop thinking about how the dust didn't affect me. I watched young Leaf take one of the pieces of papers that Storm had discarded to fold. He was quite deft with his hands. With a few folds, he'd formed a box. Then, he took another piece of paper and started folding other things, like mini swords and mini people that he put in the box.

While we corrected, Blaze kicked open the door, and in followed Sun and Earth behind him.

"Hey, mind if we crashed the party?" Blaze asked.

Storm lifted his eyebrow.

Blaze scratched his head. "I never really made up for the time when I accidentally drew all over your paperwork..."

"Be my guest," Storm said with a wave. "Lots of paperwork to _correct._ Not draw on. But I don't at all believe that Sun is here to help."

"Hey!" protested Sun. Storm shot him a look.

Earth rolled his eyes. "You're right as always, Storm. Blaze just dragged us along, and you know we're not supposed to go anywhere without having at least two other people with us."

Following Blaze and his plus two came Judgment, who brought along Ice and Stone. Judgment explained that he wanted to check up on Storm since we had left him too much paperwork. Then came Moon, Cloud, and Metal. I didn't know why they had come, but when they saw Leaf, they immediately joined him in folding papers. In the end, only Judgment, Blaze, and I were doing paperwork with Storm while everyone else was playing.

"Heh, this really is like a party now!" Blaze declared with a grin. "We're all here!"

He scribbled a huge red X on the paperwork. I frowned. _What if Blaze isn't correcting it correctly?_

As I looked over the papers that Blaze had corrected, someone shouted. I looked up and saw that Blaze had shrunk, leaving us one helper less. But perhaps it was a good thing, as I was not sure these documents Blaze corrected would pass inspection.

I was about to teleport Blaze to find him some new clothes when Judgment shrank after him. I picked Blaze up, who squealed, "Roland!" and swung him over my shoulder. He probably remembered me from one of his previous times shrinking. Then, I grabbed Judgment's hand. However, before I could leave, Metal shrank as well. I grabbed him with my other hand. 

But it seemed I would not be able to leave successfully. Cloud shrank after Metal, so I tossed Metal over my other shoulder and picked Cloud up, telling him to hold onto me from the back. Then, Stone shrank. I had him hold my elbow. Following him, Sun shrank. I had him hold my other elbow. But then Moon and Earth shrank as well. They saw me covered in children. Moon giggled and grabbed my remaining hand. With no other choice, Earth grabbed my leg.

_What am I, a climbing tree...?_

I looked at Storm, wondering if he was next. He blinked at me but didn't shrink. Perhaps we were being pitied, as if Storm were to shrink again, the Holy Temple would truly have to cease functioning until we could get the paperwork straightened out.

"I'll be back!" I finally said. Then, I teleported us all to the dressing room so that they could get properly clothed. After that, teleporting back to Storm's room was another ordeal, as several of them wanted to hold my hand or climb onto my back. 

When we returned, Storm looked at me from across the table.

"That was sudden," he said.

"It was," I agreed. "At least they were all here in your room. I didn't have to go around the Holy Temple trying to find them. It made things a lot easier... though I wonder why they were all here in the first place?"

"I wonder," Storm said with a smile, tapping his quill against his cheek. 

I glanced around the room at our companions who had all shrunk to various ages. This time, they were all fairly young. Several of them piled onto Leaf, wanting to see what he was doing. I smiled at the sight, but I quickly turned my attention back to the task at hand, which was helping Storm with the paperwork. We still had a lot to do. 

As we corrected paper after paper, I realized that out of everyone who was here, only Judgment and Blaze had been helping out before they shrank, yet Storm had not kicked everyone else out. Something didn't add up. Now that they _had_ shrunk, there was only Storm and me left. We could have foisted some of the kids onto their vice-captains, but Storm hadn't made any such suggestion. Normally, Storm wasn't quite so lenient with having people in his room, especially people who weren't helping.

"Storm, is something going on?" I finally asked. 

He glanced up at me with amused green eyes. "Caught on, huh? It's nothing much. They just all wanted to check up on you. We kind of figured out you weren't shrinking. I didn't think they would all shrink at the same time though..."

"Oh," was all I could say, a strange feeling blossoming in my chest.

"Who am I to stop them?" Storm shrugged. "Though please make sure the kiddies don't destroy any of the documents."

Blinking, I pulled Sun off of a tower of papers. 

"Roland!" Sun exclaimed. "Play with me?"

At the same time, Leaf pulled on my shirt. "Roland, for you!"

He gave me the box he had folded. I glanced down. There were twelve little paper men in the paper box, complete with paper weapons.

I smiled. 

I was wrong.

I definitely _wasn't_ empty, not when I had so much to treasure.


	10. L.ive, i shall, as roland hell

When the effect of the dust finally wore off and we made our much needed return trip to the forest to take care of the imbalance of dark element there, it was with a much lighter heart that I battled Grisia. Although it was a battle that only Grisia and I could carry out, the ten others stood around us, a reminder that they were always with us. Judgment watched on, Eternal Tranquility and Divine Sun Sword in hand, waiting for Sun's return and mine as well.

We resumed our postponed battle. 

This time, we were careful not to blow anything up. As I soared in the air, I felt more alive than ever, not because of the dark element flowing through me, but because of the knowledge that our companions were waiting for us. I smiled at the thought of Storm falling asleep at his desk. Although I had not asked them to quiet down, all ten of our shrunken companions had abruptly fallen silent when they realized Storm had fallen asleep. Then, in a feat of great camaraderie, Sun had led everyone into grabbing Storm's blanket to cover him with it. But after they did so, they realized that Storm's position looked very uncomfortable, so Earth suggested moving Storm to the bed instead. When their attempt to move Storm resulted in him falling to the floor (yet he didn't wake up from that), Leaf came crying to me, saying that they'd accidentally killed him. I quickly reassured them all that he was okay, and then I lifted Storm and carried him to his bed. The entire time, Storm stayed sound asleep but managed to snuggle deep into his blankets after I tucked him in.

I'd continued correcting paperwork after that. Blaze crawled onto my back at one point, and then the others tried to do so as well, claiming it was unfair that he was the only one who got to do so, but my back was only so big. As a compromise, I had them tidy up the paperwork to clear out some space, and then I materialized my wings.

Having ten kids hang off of my wings was heavier than I thought it'd be, but it hadn't been completely unmanageable.

"Smiling in the middle of battle? You're _that_ confident, huh?" Grisia taunted.

I shook myself out of my recollection and tried to wipe the smile off of my face, but it was more difficult than having ten kids hang off of my wings. "Come, let's battle."

Once we accomplished our mission of returning balance to the forest, I could once again see the true nature of the forest before darkness had taken over. In the past, the forest must have been vibrant and youthful, much like my companions had been when they had shrunk and become younger, years melting away in a return to innocence. 

I had admired that vibrancy and purity, untouched by darkness, but I had to admit that even this forest ravaged by the dark element was worth admiring, maybe even more so. This forest had stood the testament of time, and that was true beauty. The years might not have been kind, but that was exactly what made us, _us_. 

We gathered around the tree that Grisia had accidentally blasted into pieces.

"So this was the cause of everything?" Storm wondered. We gazed at what was left of the tree. Although the tree had disintegrated into dust, part of the trunk was still intact. The girth was so large that even if all twelve of us circled around it, we would not manage to cover the entire distance. It was regrettable that a tree with such history had been destroyed, but the experience that had resulted was one I'd never forget.

I looked from one person to the next.

Sun had been correct. During these past few weeks, each and every one of them had gotten to know Roland Hell, and I'd gotten to know them in return as well. Some things, I'd already known but hadn't completely believed, such as how Judgment wasn't infallible and Storm hadn't always been confident. I also learned other things that weren't important for a knight to know, but knowing made my chest feel warm, things like how Ice had a collection of cute shirts, Leaf was skillful at folding papers, and Metal was a very good hunter. I also realized all the more how our past shaped us, and how our future shaped us as well. Moon changed himself for the sake of his position, but he still stayed true to himself in his own way. Cloud, I had not understood, but now I know him to be one of the strongest among us. Some of us hadn't changed much at all, like Stone, Earth, and Blaze. They truly had a great strength of character, never wavering from who they are.

And, last of all, there was Sun, Sun who would always chose us over himself. 

He had been correct. They'd gotten to know me, and I'd gotten to know them. What I didn't know, however, was that I'd end up learning so much about myself too.

I stretched out my wings. 

I was Roland, yet I wasn't just Roland. Though I may be a death monarch, I was Roland Hell, the 38th generation Hell Knight. I had eleven comrades who cared deeply about me, who wholeheartedly trusted me to take care of them even when they'd turned into children and could not protect themselves.

For them all, I would continue existing, until the end of time if they so wished it, if they still had need of me.

I would always, always guard them, my precious companions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, Kiyutsuna, for the opportunity to write this fic! :)


End file.
